Bobsledding or Speeding?

This is actually a very common question. When approached with this topic, most if not all drivers rationalize speeding in a motor vehicle by comparing it to the bravery and engineering, logistical, and co-ordinational ingenuity of Olympic Bobsledding.

While not logically or morally sound, this is a tactic employed by many decent folks, most of the time just trying to get to where they need to go and finding ways to justify the means of doing so, regardless of the safety of themselves or others.

The Cold, Hard Data

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), speeding was the cause of 9,557 deaths in 2015. In contrast, there are only a handful of recorded bobsled deaths at Olympic sanctioned events or training exercises. And this is in a sport that involves drivers and riders in thin, aerodynamic body suits and a helmet, hurtling down an unforgiving, serpentine track at over 90 mph in a light metal-bodied sled they can barely see out of.

Even us amateurs with our “airbags” and “seatbelts” operate vehicles at a higher risk of fatality than these brave men and women. Not to mention the risk of injuring or killing someone else at our fault.

The Truth

Setting aside this risk of physical injury or death still leaves us with very little to gain. While an Olympic Bobsledder is paid to represent their country, practice for months and months on end, and stand to win glory, honor, and a priceless medal with some cash, us gas guzzling, rubber tire handling, government safety regulated plebeians stand to win nothing but a few extra minutes wherever we’re going. But more likely, a ticket—or even jail time.

The Solution

It is disrespectful and egregiously offensive to compare our self-conceived prerogative to speed with the prestige of the world’s finest athletes. It is incumbent upon us to yield our most carnal desires; our needs for speeds, to the recognition of the limitation of our abilities.

However, when we fall victim to our self-desires of going over the speed limit and we’re slapped with a traffic ticket, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That light is Myimprov.com. Your traffic school online. You don’t have to succumb to increased insurance rates because you have a ticket.

By enrolling into our traffic school online, you can prove to everyone that you are a safe driver. Safe drivers have lower insurance rates and clean driving records. You should stop speeding. But, when you are given a ticket for not controlling yourself, just remember there is a solution.

How They Work

DUI (Driving Under the Influence) or DWI (Driving While Intoxicated) checkpoints can pop up just about anywhere and anytime. You can spot them, because traffic officers create a road block and close off all lanes except for one. This is to check on the status of drivers by filtering them through one, single lane.

The goal is to catch and remove any drivers who may be operating their vehicle under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Therefore, any suspicious behavior is often a sign of someone who is under the influence.

What To Do

Not if, but when you find yourself in the middle of a DUI or DWI checkpoint, the important thing to remember is to comply with traffic police during this process. Creating any kind of confrontation or suspicious behavior is often a red flag. Especially when officers just want to keep the roads safe for everyone.

More often than not, officers ask for your driver’s license and car registration form. Following this, you are asked to briefly answer a series of questions. This will help determine the sobriety of any drivers behind the wheel. Any unusual behavior will encourage the police officers to conduct a field sobriety test.

So, what’s there to expect if you’re expecting a field sobriety test?

Field Sobriety Tests

The Field Sobriety Test is a in depth process to determine the sobriety of the driver. This test is broken into three different physical challenges. But, it’s not like competing in a game show, like how I just described it.

During the first phase of the test, you will be asked to balance yourself on one leg while stretching with the other. If you are under the influence, finding balance will be difficult.

The second step is the notorious walk-in-a-straight-line test. This will challenge your ability to, well, walk in a straight line. Which, when you’re under the influence is extremely challenging to do.

If you’ve made it this far in the test, then get ready for the eye gaze test. This final step tests your ability to follow an object with your eyes while holding your head still. Which, in case you haven’t seen the pattern, is extremely challenging to do while under the influence.

Because it’s designed to be that way.

These tests have been tested to be accurate, since they are standard across the country. So, forget about trying to learn the alphabet backwards, because that’s a sobriety test that nobody can pass. Not even people who are sober.

When you find yourself stuck in a DUI checkpoint, just remember that the traffic officers are keeping the roads safe. You should always comply and make their job easier, because nobody enjoys dealing with difficult people. Finally, never operate a vehicle while under the influence.

If you know someone who is a first time Nevada DUI offender, they will be required to take a NV 8 hour DUI course. Other states may order offenders to take traffic school to lessen the charges.

Keep a clean driving record and never get sloppy behind the wheel!

The Largest Waterfall

Home of tranquil New England lakes, mountains, and forest, New York has an abundance of waterfalls. Niagara Falls receives millions of tourists a year, but contrary to popular belief. It’s not the largest in the state. The lesser known Taughannock waterfall is the largest in the state with a 215-foot plunge.

A World-Renowned River

There’s plenty of rivers in the world. But what makes the Genesee River special is its ability to flow from the south to the north. It’s typical for rivers to flow to the south, but Genesee is something unique. So, unique it’s one of few rivers to do this in the entire world.

The First National Park

New York is a state of firsts. But, one first you might not know is Niagara Park was the first national park established in the United States. In 1885, the waterfall and its surrounding acres were signed into law establishing it as the first state park in the entire country.

Defensive Driving Courses Lowers Your Insurance Rate

Here’s one very interesting fact you might not know. If you are ever given a speeding ticket or traffic violation, you can avoid penalties that will raise your insurance rate. By signing up for a defensive driving course you can gain an insurance reduction and may receive a reduction of points on your record.

The First Pizzeria

New York can claim the owner of the first national park and the first pizzeria. The very first pizzeria in the United States opened its doors to the public in New York City. The cost of one slice equaled the price of one subway ride.

New York City, The Capital City

Washington D.C. wasn’t always the capital of the United States. In fact, the very first president of the U.S., George Washington, was sworn in on a balcony in New York City. Few people know that, in 1789, New York City was the capital of the United State of America.

Toilet Paper Was Invented Here

You have New York to thank for your bathroom comfort. More specifically a man named Joseph Gayetty. Because, in 1857, Gayetty was the first person to invent the commercialized toilet paper you use today.

The Longest Toll Road in the Country

Congratulations, New Yorkers. With your detailed, efficient transportation and infrastructure you were able to snag the title of having the longest toll road in the country. The ever-popular thruway has a total of 46 toll stations.

The First to Require License Plates

Long ago, there was a time where you didn’t have to register your vehicle every year. Cars didn’t have license plates, and the coppers had no chance of tracking down your bank robbing posse. But, New York took a stand and required every vehicle, starting in 1901, to have license plates.

New York’s Economy

New Yorkers are known for their state’s pride. It’s the melting pot of America, and it’s home to millions of people. It almost acts like its own country. If New York were to ever succeed from the Union, then it would have the 15th greatest economy in the entire world.

What Do You Think About It?

Did you know that thinking while you are driving can actually be a problem when your thoughts are focused on something either than properly driving your car? When you aren’t focused on the things going on around you, such as the speed of the cars in front of you or whether you have fastened your seatbelt, this greatly increases your odds of being involved in an accident and getting injured. In fact, speed and seatbelt use just so happen to be the two largest contributing factors to oil-field related deaths. One might think that getting hurt on the rig might be the number one contributor, but it isn’t.

A Closer Look at the Data

The decade that took place between 2003 and 2013 was one that saw unprecedented growth in the oil and gas extraction industry. The size of the workforce doubled and saw an increase of 71 percent in the number of rigs being drilled. The CDC analyzed data relating to fatal occupational injuries in this industry and found that more than 33 percent of worker fatalities in the oil and gas extraction industry were caused by transportation incidents.

When looking at the details involved in these accidents, it is clear to see that there is a lack of attention contributing to the fatalities, such as speeding down the road at 70+ mph and not slowing down when getting close to town and the speed limit lowers to 35-45 mph. Data shows that the biggest contributors to these accidents are not related to road or weather conditions. Instead, they are driver-behavior related:

• Failure to control speed
• Lane change-passing
• Driver fatigue
• Driver inattention
• Faulty evasive action

What Action Is Being Taken?

Fortunately, these data points and statistics are leading to positive action being taken by a variety of coalitions, including the Permian Road Safety Coalition, which is working in conjunction with the Texas Department of Transportation, as well as with other industry experts, to assess the causes of fatalities and properly address them.

For example, they have studied why drivers still after all these years are failing to wear their seatbelts. The truth is, though, this action is simply a bad habit. Oilfield workers get in and out of their vehicles numerous times throughout the day, making it a nuisance to many of them to put on and take off their seatbelt. This type of bad habit must be altered, and thankfully, a simple in-the-truck reminder is all it takes to get drivers to start wearing their seatbelts. Such reminders can come through an In-Vehicle-Monitoring Solutions (IVMS) program.

What Is an IVMS Program?

This type of program is becoming more popular because it helps companies curb recordable driving incidents. The system will provide immediate feedback to drivers when they are taking part in one or more activities that put them at risk for an accident or injury, such as not wearing their seatbelt or speeding.

The Conclusion

It is important to note that new workers to the oilfield have a greater chance of being involved in an accident because of a lack of experience in driving in the oil patch, as well as inexperience in driving industry-specific equipment. This is why it is all the more important for fleet vehicles to be properly monitored with an IVMS.

Why Check Your Credit Score Before Buying a Car?

There are two significant reasons why you should check your credit score before buying a car. Firstly, your credit score influences the willingness of lenders to finance your auto purchase. You can think of it as a measure of your trustworthiness to your loan financiers based on your previous debts and payments history. Secondly, although you may get an auto loan with a very low credit score, your interest rates will be much higher. Therefore, knowing your credit score in advance gives you time to improve your rating and thus avoid paying very high interest rates on your auto loan. Remember, lowering your interest rate even by a small percentage loan’s lifespan.

Does Your Credit Score Drop Every Time You Have It Checked? Myth or Real?

It is important to know that not all searches into your credit score cause it to drop. Instead, the primary determining factor is whether you are placing a hard or soft inquiry. As per the Fair Credit Reporting Act, the reason for accessing your credit score and the person pulling it are the two major factors that determine if the inquiry is hard or soft as explained below.

• Hard inquiry: Occurs if your business or lender obtains your credit report following an application for a loan or credit. Every hard inquiry reflects on your credit report and will, therefore, drop your score.

• Soft inquiry: Results if you or a lender obtains your credit score report to serve as a background check without necessarily applying for the loan. For instance, if you want to get a quote for your auto loan, the lender will do a soft search, and doing so will not affect your credit score.

Additionally, you can personally check your credit rating as many times as necessary because it would only amount to a soft inquiry that cannot hurt your score in any way.

Why You Need a NYS Defensive Driving Course Certification

Insurance companies usually provide discounts to drivers who actively sharpen their driving skills and take steps that encourage safe driving behaviors. With safer driving, insurance companies receive fewer claims, which is the reason they can afford to offer you a discount if you have completed a defensive driving course. The certification usually covers the following aspects:

• Traffic laws

• Alcohol and drug awareness

• Defensive driving techniques

• Driving in adverse weather

• And more

Most insurance providers grant a defensive driving discount only one car and you should have completed the course with a passing grade to earn it.

Final Thoughts:

Ensure that you have a defensive driving certification before buying a car because you can it to negotiate an insurance discount that will go a long way in keeping your premiums as low as possible. Additionally, let different car dealers access your credit score only to quote their interest rates for your auto loan. This way, you avoid hurting your credit score with hard inquiries that come with applying for a car loan which you are not sure you can qualify.

Sea Ranch

Located 110 miles north of San Francisco, Sea Ranch is an architect’s playground. This stretch of land is known for its creative, artistic houses surrounded by the beauty of northern California. Architects have poured their creative souls into building small houses that are used by locals of the area.

You can rent one of these homes for a weekend getaway. It’s a simple and creative way to spend your cheap vacation. You’ll be secluded in the hills and mountains, away from the bustling lifestyle of city living.

Big and Little Petroglyph Canyon

If you’re a fan of art and history, then Big and Little Petroglyph Canyon could be a vacation you’d enjoy. Preserved on these landforms are old Native American Petroglyphs. Created by the Coso people, some of the paintings are estimated to be 10,000 years old.

This area is a great hiking spot that will take you through the history and culture of the canyon. You can also post up camp on government owned grounds nearby for a wilderness adventure on a budget. But, if you want to visit a town, nearby are Ridgecrest and China Lake.

Drakesbad

Explore a village locked in time. Drakesbad is a fun vacation spot that offers outdoor activities and lodging. This location is great for entire families and for couples. Horseback riding, archery, massages, and more can be had while visiting this village pushed away in a volcanic national park.

Drakesbad has a reputation for helping you unplug from life and disconnecting from stressors of your day-to-day. You can explore flowery meadows, culinary creations, and beautiful nights under the stars in this small village. It also has cabins and other lodgings that will meet the needs of any sized party.

Mammoth Lake Hot Springs

If you’re on a budget, no problem. You can still get that relaxing jacuzzi experience you would find at that high-end resort you’ve always wanted to visit. All you have to do is travel to Mammoth Lake Hot Springs. The hot springs are like jacuzzies, but they’re naturally formed by volcanoes erupting thousands of years ago.

Soak up the warmth by visiting these natural springs. Located north of Bishop, California, this area is teeming with relaxation. You can find a cabin for the weekend or rent out a house. If you don’t like looking at nature, you can always close your eyes and pretend you’re on that Malibu resort you couldn’t afford.

Murphys

When in doubt, you can wine it out. If none of these vacation ideas appeals to you, then visit Murphys, California. This small town experienced a sudden population boom, and, from there, built out a very diverse community of wineries.

Murphys is built with stone wall buildings, surrounded by beautiful nature, and is in abundance of boozy wines. You can spend your cheap vacation drinking wine in California’s great northern wine town. But, if you don’t want to spend the entirety of the vacation drinking wine, there are natural redwood parks and caverns that are ready to be explored nearby.

Los Angeles International (LAX)

LAX is the most popular airport in California and the second most popular airport in the country, Los Angeles International airport is consistently booked with incoming and outgoing passengers. It’s also known for its construction zones, bustling traffic, and pricey foods.

Things can get chaotic here. So, if you want to avoid flying into a busy airport, then LAX might be a bad option.

San Francisco International (SFO)

Located south of downtown San Francisco, the San Francisco International airport is the busiest airport in northern California. This airport has its share of art installations and visual appeal. It’s also home to its very own museum that was established in 1980.

SFO is a moderately busy in relation to LAX, but it doesn’t have the same reputation as its southern counterpart. San Francisco International, when prepared, will be a breeze to navigate for any airway passenger.

John Wayne Airport (SNA)

If you need to touch base near the Disneyland Resort, John Way Airport is your ticket. This is LAX’s smaller neighbor who receives around 9 million passengers a year.

It’s busy, but it’s not that busy.

If you fly into this airport, you’ll also get to see the statue of John Wayne himself greeting you on a safe landing.

San Diego International (SAN)

San Diego International airport is a great destination for anyone who wants to visit California’s southern border. Its clean and open airport is a great place to fly in for large parties and individual passengers.

One fact you might not know about this airport is the sectioned nesting ground for endangered species. Also, San Diego International airport was ranked #2 in best airports in the world.

San Jose International (SJC)

San Jose is the largest city in the Bay Area, but San Jose International is the smallest airport in the area. Compared to others, San Jose International has received the fewest accidents in the past 30 years.

It’s a safe landing, take off, and it’s a smaller airport. If you’re traveling to San Jose, then consider taking SJC.

Sacramento International (SMF)

Ah, yes! The capital city of California. SMF is the international airport for this metropolitan area. Known for its cleanliness and sleek design, the Sacramento International airport is a sight to admire.

You won’t have any problems navigating through SMF. As long as you have all your traveling documentation and your luggage is light, passing through Sacramento will be a fun, casual experience.

Vandenberg Air Force Base (VBG)

The Vandenberg Air Force Base is a fantastic airport. You’ll see local flights, international flights, and… outer planetary flights.

Actually, it’s a space and missile testing base with the goal of placing satellites into polar orbit. It’s not open for commercial passengers, but it is a great airport, because it’s Air Force owned and operated. So, unless you’re a long-range ballistic missile, maybe consider flying into somewhere else.

Hollywood Burbank Airport (BUR)

Did you know that Hollywood and Burbank have their own airport? Neither did we! If you’re aiming to fly into an area for a quick film pitch before your noon lunch, then the Hollywood-Burbank Airport is your destination.

Located north of Downtown Los Angeles, BUR is light on air traffic, because it’s also a local flight only airport. All the big airliners are flying into LAX.

But, if flying isn’t an option and you’re afraid of receiving a traffic ticket when you drive, just remember that Myimprov.com has your back. We have the best traffic school online California has to offer.

What Exactly Do They Do?

Whether you’re driving down the PCH or taking I-10 through the desert, you’ll pass by Highway Patrol at some point. They have various responsibilities, but the overall purpose of their existence is to help make the roads safe.

If we’re going back to our perfect ocean metaphor, Highway Patrol officers are more like the dolphins of the highways.

Dolphins are the helpful, nice mammals of the ocean, right? Right.

When there’s a roadside emergency, traffic incident, or other high-stress situations, Highway Patrol officers come to support and aide where necessary. They’re here to help. That’s why it’s usually wise to call for Highway Patrol when you’re experiencing roadside trauma.

They also play a large hand in removing drivers, who may be under the influence of a substance, off the roads. They enforce the laws of the road. Reckless drivers, whether they’re drinking and driving, speeding, or driving sporadically and recklessly, Highway Patrol is there to investigate the situation. They want to keep highways safe.

Their Training and Expertise

Still not convinced that Highway Patrol doesn’t have your best interest at hand? We bet you’re thinking “what kind of training do these schmucks have?”

Well, along with their primary education, all California Highway Patrol officers must go through post-secondary schooling.

This includes courses and degrees in criminal justice, police justice, and law enforcement. To add, officers are required to undergo rigorous physical training and testing, as well as personality tests.

When it comes to enforcing the laws, California is looking for the best of the best.

Even after being accepted into the department, Highway Patrol recruits must attend month long training programs and gain experience working in state police departments.

Community Engagement

They’re not just patrolling the highways, they’re educating the community.

Highway Patrol officers take on the responsibility of making appearances around your community to help educate children, driving students, and others. They’re goal is to reduce the number of reckless drivers on the road. A big part of this is by engaging the community.

Whether it’s getting to know the drivers themselves or giving talks on the dangers of driving recklessly in high schools, Highway Patrol officers want to protect the communities they serve.

Uh-oh. Your car is parked on the right side of the highway. You’re holding a ticket that reads “driving violation” that was just handed to you by a California Highway Patrol officer. You’re coming down from a head rush after seeing those lights flash up in your rearview mirror, and your stomach can’t sink any lower.

Planes and Trains

California is a big state, spanning about 164,000 square miles. That said, if you need to make a longer trip, say from San Francisco to San Diego, it’s more than just a hop down the street. There’s where the likes of planes and trains can come in handy. California is home to several large, international airports that can make getting up and down the coast a breeze. There are major airports in San Diego, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Anaheim, among others that can help you get from big city to big city quickly and often affordably.

If you fear flying or airfare is just too much for your budget, another ideal option is the light rail train system. The train literally runs up and down the coast, from San Francisco to San Diego. California also has a nice Amtrak rail system, so that too can be an option for getting around from place to place.

Buses

Most of the big cities, such as San Francisco and Los Angeles, have public bus transportation offering to help people get around town. While these buses are on fixed routes and don’t travel outside of the city limits, they do offer an option for someone who just needs to get from their city apartment to their downtown office, for instance.

Ride Sharing

One of the nicest things about ride sharing services like Uber and Lyft is that they’re more affordable than a taxi cab and they’re on demand, so you won’t have to call and wait for one to pick you up. However, if you’re taking an Uber or Lyft on a daily basis, the costs are still going to add up over time. Try to think of ride sharing services as a temporary solution to getting around California without a license. Yes, they’re cheaper than a taxi cab, but they’re still far more expensive than most public transportation offerings.

Walk or Bike

If your destination is only a few miles away, we’d encourage you to take advantage of the nice year-round California weather and get some exercise in the process by either walking or biking to your destination. The big cities tend to be more walkable, as everything is packed in more closely together.

Like we noted in the opening, while it is feasible to get around California without a car, the size of the state and spacing between major cities can make it difficult without a viable vehicle. That’s why we encourage you to do what’s necessary to get your license back if it’s been suspended or you haven’t renewed it. Try to think of the options we’ve listed above as temporary solutions until you can get back behind the wheel of a car. For more information, contact us today.

• For information about California Driver’s License, click: California Driver’s License!
• Explore everything about Checking Driver’s License Status in CA and the process for license renewals in our comprehensive guide.

No ‘Smoking’ and Driving

We’re not talking about cigarettes – that has been and still is legal in the state. No, we’re talking about marijuana, or cannabis, if you will. A new law this year in California will prohibit both drivers and passengers from smoking and/or consuming marijuana products in a car. As you may recall, recreational and medical marijuana is legal in the state of California. This law will just work to ensure that people are using it responsibly.

See a Seatbelt on that Bus? Use it!

As of January 1, 2018, if you’re riding a bus in California and your seat is equipped with a seatbelt, you’re breaking the law if you don’t use it. What’s more is the law mandates that any children riding a bus between eight and 16 years old must be properly restrained by a seat belt or other approved restraining device. Safety first, right?

Don’t Drink and Drive

The blood alcohol concentration (BAC) is 0.08 or less in California for those 21 and up to legally operate a vehicle. However, this year, the state is halving that when it comes to drivers for hire. That’s right, if you drive an Uber, Lyft or work for any other similar service, you’re breaking the law if you drive your vehicle with a BAC of more than 0.04. Unlike many other driving laws on this list, this one won’t go into effect until July 1, 2018.

Revised Parking Violation Law

If outstanding parking violations are reported to the DMV, it can take a hit on your license and registration renewal efforts. That’s where this revamped law comes into play, particularly when it comes to low income California citizens. Under this new 2018 law, anyone with unpaid violations will be allowed to designate their vehicle as non-operational for the subsequent renewal year without having such issues being reported to the DMV. Essentially, the law is designed to help people buy time.

Motorcycle Training Revamp

Are you a motorcycle rider that was trained by the California Highway Patrol? If so, and you’re over the age of 21, you’ll be allowed to bypass the DMV test for a motorcycle license. If you’re under 21, however, you’ll still have to go through standard training to earn an M1 or M2 license. Be sure to know where you stand when it comes to this.

Increased Registration Fees for Road Maintenance

Vehicle registration is already expensive enough to many people, but starting in 2018 it’s about to get a bit pricier. That’s because the California DMV will now be collecting for a “Transportation Improvement Fee” when a vehicle is up for registration renewal. This fee ranges from $25 to $175 and the price you’ll pay is dictated by the value of your vehicle. So, for instance, if you’re driving a Toyota Corolla, you’re likely going to pay much less for this fee than you would if you were driving a Tesla or a Porsche. We can’t imagine many people will be happy about this increased cost, but if the excess fees go back into the state’s infrastructure like the state says it will, it’ll make for better driving conditions in the future. We’re sure residents will appreciate that.

Revamped Firefighter License Plate Program

Prior to this year, only retired or current firefighters, or spouses of fallen firefighters were eligible to receive a special “California Firefighter” license plate for their vehicles. This year, however, the state has expanded the program to open it up to spouses, domestic partners and children of fallen firefighters. It’s a nice gesture that will certainly be appreciated by family members wishing to honor a loved one who fell in the line of duty.

1. The Emergency Planners

Whether you’re driving upstate to go apple picking or trenching through a foot of snow in your hatchback, people who prepare for any emergency is a sign of a true defensive driver.

Got a spare tire in the back? Flashlight and road flares? First aid kit? These are questions to ask yourself when you’re driving through the perils of New York.

The people from downstate just don’t know how well they have it.

2. The Road Scanners

The Emergency Planners are prepared for anything, but the Road Scanners are the ones who really leave a defensive impact on the roads. Also known as the all-seeing eyes of the highways, the Road Scanners routinely check their rearview mirrors and their sides for any signs of reckless driving.

They see everything.

Even you, deer, who is hunched in the bushes and will run in front of the car as soon as it gets 10-feet from you. They see you.

3. The Hyper Focused

The music volume must not exceed 8, the windows must remain rolled up, and absolutely no cell phones may be check while driving.

You know the type.

The Hyper Focused are defensive drivers who are extra cautious about distractions while driving. Not even the beauty of taking the backroads with the serene fall foliage can waiver their focus. In fact, everything might as well look like a grey slate to them.

By cutting out all distraction while driving, The Hyper Focused are able to stay fine-tuned with the road. Some say, they merge, mentally, with their car. It’s quite beautiful.

4. The 3-to-4-Second-ers

The 3-to 4-second-ers follow a strict moral foundation of leaving at least 3 to 4 seconds of distance between their car and the car in front of them.

When stopping at a stop light, they make sure the back tires of the car in front align with the top of their dashboard. This is a measurement to keep them from tailgating any car.

They actively fight the constant battle against their mortal nemesis, the tailgaters. You know who they are.

The 3-to-4-second-ers are prepared for the worst. They understand that it’s New York state. Snow happens. Rain happens too. Leaving that space in front of them is important to avoiding any traffic accident.

5. The Traffic School Aficionados

It’s a shameless plug for the people who took a defensive driving course. These are the drivers who devoted their time and energy to learn how to keep the roads safe for everyone.

You can be among those chosen and make New York a safer place to drive by taking a NYS defensive driving course online.

If you don’t do it for the other drivers, do it for the foolish deer that run out in front of your car.

Those deer are so very foolish.

1. You just took a shot with Adam Driver

“Hey! You’re Kylo Ren from Star Wars!” you belted out at your favorite celebrity. “You’re a superb actor and I’m a huge Star Wars fan!” Flattered by your sincere compliment, Adam Driver offers you a shot of Grey Goose and then proceeds to get to you know you on a personal level.

1 shot = 1 hour before you can drive home.

The only Driver at this party should be Adam, who’s listening to how much you love traffic school.

2. Arnold Schwarzenegger helped you with a keg stand

Extending his hand to you, Arnold Schwarzenegger says “Come with me if you want to get drunk!” It’s a special occasion, so you happily oblige as he lifts you upside down and places you on top of a beer keg. The next thing you hear are your wonderful peers counting the seconds as you chug.

You make it to 16 seconds and Arnold flips you over onto your feet. The blood rushes from your head as the room spins. You thank him for the help and you meet your friends in the other room.

“You’ll be back,” Arnold mutters. “I think you just consumed three beeers.”

3 beers = 3 additional hours until you are ok to drive home.

3. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling put you into their reenactment of La La Land

The city of stars just gained another star, and it’s you! At least it was for the 2-hours and 8-minutes when Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling used you as a third when they broke out into their song and dance. You couldn’t have remembered every dance step and song lyric from the movie La La Land, so you had to be drunk!

It looks like someone in the crowd gave you another drink after your performance. Just wait until your friends at traffic school hear this!

1 standard drink = 1 more solid hour until you sober up.

4. You held a 30-minute conversation with Bjork

Manifesting from Chris Hemsworth’s botanical garden, Bjork starts a conversation with you. Unbeknownst to you, she can only speak using metaphors and symbolism in the form of music from stringed instruments and trash can lids. You’ve always been fascinated by the Scandinavian singer & songwriter, so why not give this conversation a shot?

The next 30-minutes, although not understanding it, enlightened you to the point of developing a natural drunkenness. You realize that talking to Bjork is the equivalent of taking five shots (you actually had 5 shots while talking with her). You politely end the conversation as the Scandinavian Goddess is carried away by a pack of forest creatures and fairies.

5 shots = 5 more hours you need to sober up!

5. You spent the last hour drinking wine with Meryl Streep

Flabbergasted by your regal New Years outfit, Meryl Streep shimmies you over to the fireplace where she talks to you about love, happiness, and traffic school. She pours you a glass of wine from her bottle of Armand de Brignac. It’s a $16,000 bottle of wine and how could you say “no” to Meryl?

For the next 2-hours you and Meryl slam a few bottles as she recites her life story to you. After praising your ability to listen, Meryl is whisked away to do a solo reenactment of Mamma Mia!

How many drinks was that?

If you have to ask yourself that question, the answer is probably too much. When you’re still feeling the side effects of alcohol in the morning, don’t drive. It’s always safer to find another way home.

Remember what your favorite traffic school always says, “Don’t drink and drive!”