pump gas traffic school defensive drivingThe subtle art of being ridiculously lazy is challenging for some people. Not for you, because you have dedicated your life to being comatose. You’re not one of those normal functioning people. That’s why you can’t be bothered to perform mundane tasks. But, there’s just some responsibilities you can’t escape – like pumping your own gas.

Why can’t you live in a state where people do work for you? How can you be lazy, if you don’t have the cornerstone of all laziness? Why do YOU have to pump YOUR gas? These are questions that any logical – and lethargic – person would ask themselves. That’s why we’ve compiled the most extensive list of states and cities that will pump your gas for you. These are the last remaining U.S. locations that understand your mission to be carelessly lackadaisical.

New Jersey

Also known as the “mecca of full service gas retailers,” New Jersey is most notably recognized for having gas station pump attendants. In 1949, congress passed a statute titled the Retail Gasoline Dispensing Safety Act, which prohibited gas retail customers from pumping their own gas. To this day, New Jersey is the lone state that maintains this law, and requires a professional to pump your car’s gasoline.

When you’re caught violating this law, you could experience some pricey consequences. People who break the 1949 statute will be fined $50 to $250, and up to $500 for any proceeding offenses. If you thought gas prices were expensive, then you haven’t been caught pumping your own gas in New Jersey.


Oregon

An honorable mention should be given to the ex-lazy state of Oregon. Recently, Oregon passed a law that gives customers the right to pump their own gas. This is bad news for the state’s professionally exhausted people. If you wanted to do actual work, you wouldn’t have taken online traffic school courses, or bought that text to speech converter so you could listen instead of reading this article.

Despite these challenging times, there’s an apathetic light at the end of the tunnel. The law only takes effect on counties with population less than 40,000 residents. In other words, densely populated regions of the state will still have their full-service pumps. This means Portland will become the west coast home for all lazy drivers.


Huntington, New York

Just like a pond of freshwater in a scathing desert wasteland, Huntington, New York is a lazy oasis in the bustling state of New York. Huntington escaped the thwarting grasps of responsibility and allows full-service gas retailers in the city. The reason why this old law is still around is a bit foggy, but we know the real reason. The city is just a proponent of putting in the least amount of effort as possible.

During the 1980’s, fire safety became a major concern for the Huntington Fire Department. Pumping your own gasoline was believed to be a fire hazard. Therefore, not long after, Huntington passed a city-wide regulation that would require gas retailers to offer full-service pumps. Any driver who is caught fueling their own vehicle would experience the repercussions of heavy fine payments. Another known fire hazard: doing any kind of work, because your body will catch fire, which is why being lazy is better.

Whether you’re living in the west coast or the east coast, there’s plenty of opportunity to exert your laziness. If these states or cities aren’t nearby, then consider hiring your own personal gas station attendant, because being lazy is an often-overlooked bliss.