Warren Thomas Michael, 23, was driving on Fleming Island when police received a report from a pedestrian that someone driving a vehicle matching Michael’s car nearly struck them. Police arrived at the scene and found Michael after a short search. They then observed him driving erratically and made a traffic stop.
When Michael exited his vehicle police say his speech was slurred and he smelled of alcohol. H was able was reportedly unable to answer simple questions asked of him by police, but he was able to attempt to tell police that the reason he was driving erratically was because his pet squirrel, which was in his shirt at the time, was “eating him.”
Warren Thomas Michael, 23, said “he had a squirrel eating him” when officers pulled him over on Saturday night in Fleming Island, Fla., according to the arrest report.
“The defendant pointed out a small squirrel he had wrapped under his shirt,” Officer JC Saunders wrote.
Michael talked about his squirrel with slurred, mumbled and profanity-laden speech. His bloodshot eyes appeared glassy above his red cheeks, the report describes.
Unfortunately for Michael whether or not he had a squirrel “eating him” he is still responsible for every action he takes in his vehicle. Regardless of whether or not he was under the influence of alcohol, allowing his vehicle to leave his proper lane, or the roadway (as officers claimed) was his fault and had nothing to do with the squirrel.
If you are driving your vehicle you are responsible for everything that vehicle does. If you have a deer in the backseat and it kicks you in the head and you collided with an oncoming car, that’s your fault.
Next time you drive a vehicle with your pet inside do yourself a favor and put it in a cage, not your shirt. And never, ever, drink and drive.