mrs. clause defensive driving with santa

You probably think you know the whole story of Santa Claus and his eight reindeers’ trip around the world to deliver presents. But believe it or not, it wasn’t always a solo venture. In the beginning, Christmas was more of a mom and pop operation.

It is true, Mrs. Claus used to ride shotgun to help to navigate and keep the reindeer in line while her hubby nipped inside to drop off the goodies. But things got a little out of control and now the missus won’t be caught dead riding with Santa.

The Truth Why Mrs. Claus Refuses to Ride with Santa Anymore

1. Santa is an awful singer.

Everyone knows Santa is jolly, but unfortunately, he also has the bad habit of singing Christmas carols off-key and air drumming while flying his sleigh. The embarrassment become too much for Mrs. Claus to bear when she overheard the elves snickering behind his back.

2. Santa never cleans his sleigh.

No matter how many times he promised his wife to clear out the junk from under the seats, every time Mrs. Claus rode in his sleigh she would find the floor littered with fast food bags and other trash. She couldn’t take it anymore when she discovered a half-eaten sandwich hiding in the glove compartment.

3. Santa is lactose intolerant.

Despite pleas from Mrs. Claus, Santa insisted on drinking all the milk left for him by the little children. This led to extremely pungent journeys. Santa thought he came up with the perfect solution when he traded in his enclosed sleigh for an open-air model, but it was still too much for his long-suffering wife.

4. Santa never admits when he is lost.

Although Mrs. Claus is perfectly capable of reading a map, Santa always claimed he knew a “shortcut” which would save them five minutes. Inevitably, he became lost but refused to stop and ask for directions. Just recently Mrs. Claus gave him a GPS navigation unit, but he hasn’t learned how to operate it yet.

5. Santa is a gearhead.

While Mrs. Claus admits there is nothing wrong with taking pride in your vehicle, she got tired of always hearing her husband brag about how much reindeer power his sleigh has. She hated when he flew at top speed but was particularly perturbed when he let her out, so he could drag race a griffin.

6. Santa is a distracted driver.

Everyone knows Santa makes a list with all the name of those who are naughty or nice. He is careful to checks it twice, but when he checked for a third and fourth time while flying his sleigh the missus got nervous. After a close call with a flock of storks delivering newborns while he was going over the list for the ninth time, she had enough of his irresponsibility.
And those are the reasons why Mrs. Claus will never ride with her husband again.

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